Emelie-jumps

Moodswings totally sucks. I dont like them at all. I would do ANYTHING to get rid of them. Why isnt there a magic pill in the world that makes all the moodswings disapperar? Or does that already exist? In that case I would appreciate if u told me that. =)

Its been a pretty boring day today. Ive been home with a lil bit of fever. And that was boring as hell. So Ive been freezing ALL day...And I spend some time with one of my loved ones, Steve-darling. Makes me happy when I can spend time with people I like. I cant wait til tomorrow when I get to talk to him and the others again. Hes always so nice to me, and sometimes I even think I dont deserve it. Hes a mystery for me. BUT for me people are bottomless. U can NEVER EVER fully know a person! And I love that!! So anyway about the freezing, in the morning I was fully dressed, I looked like a eskimo, Im serious I really did. Then I had 2 blankets and slippers on. Totally insane. But I just took my temperature right now and guess what. No fever anymore. So tomorrow I can do some training. U see I couldnt really do anything today cuz when Im sick my body gets really weak. And it hurts all over. Feels like it hurts inside my bones and like something is itching inside them. Really wierd and hard to describe the feeling. Guess u have to try it to understand it. I couldnt take a shower until 4 pm and imagine how filthy I felt after all those hours. But I didnt have a choice. None was here to help me shower so I just had to wait until my head didnt feel like boiling mushrooms. And that was around 4 pm. I could also eat something then. I havent eaten much today at all. Ive been a really bad girl. Ive only eaten 3 sandwiches during the day but I just finished a plate of scrambled eggs. Me loooove scrambled eggs and toast with jelly, strawberry jelly.. Mmmm.. Heaven on earth.

Speaking of food. Im still thinking of Gordon Ramsays resturants. Hes my favorite chef in the entire world. Totally amazing. I occasionally watch his shows, hell's kitchen and the F word. I really like him. And its one of my dreams to eat at one of his resturants. I wanna go on a date there. Thats also a thing I wanna do. I wanna go on a real date. U see here in Sweden its not really common to go on dates like they do in like, say USA. So Ive never ever been on a real date and it would be SOOO fun to go on one. Hmm wonder how my perfect date would be.

Im not a girl that asks for much but yea I do like to get things also. And surprises. One thing thats important on my future date is that I have to have fun. Wow Im trying to imagine my perfect date but I cant. Its really hard. One thing I would like to happen once in my life tho is that the guy win a teddybear for me. I know it may sound silly but Ive seen it in many movies and it looks so cute. And that teddy bear is a memory u gonna be able to look at for a long time hopefully.

Watching a movie right now again. I love watching movies before I go to bed or fall asleep in the couch. I prefer sleeping in my bed tho. My princess bed. I have my dream bedroom. And thats all thanks so my amazing mom and dad. Its got 3 white-ish walls and one black. Really high quality on that wallpaper. And I got the most amazing curtains ever. And my bed omg.. My dad painted it for me. Its like pink and white. Mostly white. Dont get scared now. Ill take a picture of my bedroom one day and put here. U gonna love it.. Well atleast like it. Its really beautiful.

Oh anyway. Im talking about everything and Im jumping between the subjects my friends call that Emelie-jump. I always do that. Im PRO at Emelie-jumps maybe that because Im confused most of my time. Dont get me wrong. Im smart but confused. I dont like being called stupid. Im sick of it. Ive been called stupid a huge part of my life and its starting to get boring since I got good grades and Im studying right now. And my teachers now is telling me Im gonna go far. Sure Im just gonna be a teacher. But hey. Teachers learned you alot of things that you know today. Alot of things that you use. Teachers educate the doctors and the polices. The world needs teachers. Its not gonna solve worldpeace. But not many jobs that solves that huge problem.

And I just did another Emelie-jump. I thought of something today. Alot of people I like and care for live in another country. And that kinda sucks. I would need those people around me right now. Because of my moodswings and alot of stress right now Im kinda down. Not depressed just.. down.. hmm.. Wierd... Would be nice with someone who appreciates me for who I am. =)

OMG I havent told u about my real life stalker have I? So this guy, hes a student here in my town. I met him 3 times at the student bar. We only talked nothing else. But we exchanged phonenumbers so we could grab a cup of coffee sometime. Not the very brightest idea I realise now a bit to late. So now he keeps calling me and textmessaging me. And IM me on msn. And one night he called me at 2am, 2 AM FFS! And I just hungup without answering but he called one more time and I did the same thing. But after that time I send him a textmessage saying "Im Sleeping", and he answered me back "theres a serious problem with u, I dont understand u!". Im just like "WTF Im sleeping, its 2 am and I DONT want calls right now!!!" And he answered me back again "Well sleep if u want to, but u still got a serious problem that u gonna have to deal with"... What fuking problem??? Im sleeping I just wanna be alone... Hes the one with the serious problem. And about 2 days ago he asked me on msn "You ready for tomorrow??!" Im just like whats happening tomorrow? And he said "Our cup of coffee I just decided"... Hes totally insane. I so totally regret that I gave him my number. I dont know what to do with him anymore. Got any tips?

Yawn.. Whats happening tomorrow. A friend wants me to go clubbing with her. And that sounds awesome. I mean Im starting to get kinda famous on the bars now. HeHe.. Im proud. I looove dancing. Although Im NOT gonna buy any alcohol at the bar tho. I really cant afford that now. Im pooooooor. And I would rather not gonna have to call my dad soon and ask for money. Thats embarrassing and I wanna be able to take care of myself. Its my own fault if I spend my money on booze..

Well time to watch the end of the movie now I mean I wanna write in my blog not a entire novell. Then you guys gonna get bored. And I wouldnt want that. I want my lovely readers to stay here with me even tho u dont make alot of "noices". U can always feel free to comment what Im writing or ask me questions. This blog is gonna be pretty personal because I want people like you to know the real me. The girl behind the screen. And hopefully you get to know me a little bit.

Gnight everyone... And remember my motto Carpe Diem/

Em<3